Why the answer varies
Different answers can arise from Hindu ritual practice due to the decentralized nature of interpretations from Dharmashastra, regional customs, family lineage, and priestly traditions.
This indicates that absolute internet assertions - such as "women are never able" or "there has always been complete freedom" - overly simplify a intricate past.
Family responsibility in real life
Today, families may consist solely of daughters, be spread out geographically, or have a daughter taking on a more direct role in caring for the deceased, challenging traditional beliefs and prompting a reevaluation of long-held assumptions.
The ethical dilemma is: who is capable of bearing remembrance with sincerity and accountability?
How to navigate disagreement
If your family values formal ritual correctness, seek guidance from a knowledgeable priest within your tradition to understand the rationale behind the practices, rather than just seeking a simple answer.
Avoid allowing ancestral rites to become a source of conflict among relatives, as this undermines the relationships being honored.
A broader principle
Shraddh focuses on appreciation, ancestral heritage, and responsibility. Families can uphold these principles while recognizing the evolution of societal expectations.
An approach rooted in respect acknowledges tradition, interprets texts, and considers the practicalities of honoring ancestors with those present.